The beautiful and mind blowing thing I’ve found about life is how some unexpected occurrences and random encounters can completely change who we are, how we see things, and ultimately what we do with our lives. It’s incredible how meeting someone can catalyze entire life-changing events and inspire people to accomplish things they never dreamed of.
So how do you meet people? Honestly, I don’t have the golden answer to that question and I’m not gonna list the things you need to do to make friends. There are plenty of those articles floating around. They will say things like; Be confident. Okay sure, yeah we know but knowing that doesn’t help. Don’t be a dick. Okay that seems pretty self explanatory. Show up on time. Gosh. These are all pretty basic things that I hope people generally already understand. What I think those articles miss is that everything is situational and people are too complex to be put in a box with a checklist. Honestly, I don’t even know if I should be writing about how to meet people when I’m actively using Tinder to meet someone new. But hey that’s different right?
For most, it’s not meeting people that is hard, it is finding the courage to meet new people with an open mind and heart. It seems like everyone has some kind of anxiety about themselves and how others will perceive them. I know for sure that I do; even though many people see me as a social butterfly who makes friends everywhere. People often wonder how? How can someone just meet people anywhere and then be lifelong friends? The answer is of course being, Hungry AND Humble! Food brings people together in the most amazing ways, whereas hunger can drive people apart. Honestly it’s really just that damn ego. Nobody wants to be hungry but those of you who are reading this and following my blogs are hungry. To be hungry is not just physical, in this sense it is to want, to crave, to desire the nourishment that comes with social interaction, community, and connection!
Everybody likes to eat and nobody likes a huge ego. Actually the truth is everybody needs to eat and our ego is a part of us; we cannot escape either. What we can do though is nourish our bodies, minds and spirits and let some of that ego go. Depending on who you are, maybe a lot of it…. We’re all in this struggle together so we might as well “eat and be merry” am I right?
This realization has allowed me to meet so many people over the course of my life in so many different ways. Most ways are good, some ways have been bad but in the end all of these people came into my life and me into theirs for a reason! The Universe seems to bring us people at just the right time and always for the right reason. Whether it be a true blessing or a blessing in disguise, remember that connection and experiencing life with others is always a good thing!
Bound By Fate?
Sometimes you meet someone and immediately there is a spark! You both don’t know what it is but it’s almost like you’ve known each other your entire lives but don’t have any “photographs” together. I like to think we have many different soul mates or spiritual bonds that have existed over many lifetimes and meeting a stranger you click instantly with is some strange proof of that. Maybe we are bound by fate. Destined to meet certain souls to push us along our karmic path. Some encounters do seem that way.
For example, this is a picture of me (left) and one of my best friends, Barsha Karmacharya! (right) We had met at Gay Pride Festival in San Francisco in 2015, the year same-sex marriage was legalized! She was sitting next to my group of friends with her own group of friends from Nepal. We sat next to each other for several hours before someone in her group said out loud, “I wish I had a beer right now.” To his luck, I happened to have a backpack full of beer I was passing out to homeless people so they may celebrate with us gays. I turned around and surprised Barsha’s group with cold beers and we began to chat. She gave me her Facebook name and I left gay pride not knowing this random girl I shared some beer with would end up being a true genuine friend to me and changing my life for the better!
I messaged her a week later to thank her for a fun time. To my surprise, I discovered she was a famous singer and made music videos! I had no idea I was hanging out with a celebrity. She was excited that we had met and asked if we could be friends and hang out. I couldn’t believe it at first. Why would this very beautiful and famous person wanna hang out with me?! I almost thought it was some kind of joke and I’d ended up disappointed so I declined hanging out at first and lied that I was busy. I wasn’t. I didn’t have shit going on. I was just scared of rejection. That somehow this person who is actively seeking to hang out with me will reject me after she gets to know me. I feel bad for my former self sometimes. I probably missed out on a lot by being scared of myself. We kept talking and she invited me to come out the next weekend. This time I was starting to believe maybe she really did want to be my friend and I am worthy of knowing such cool people. So I accepted and we hung out that weekend and for the next 6 months we were practically inseparable. I was the first friend she had made in the USA and she was the first Nepalese person I had met and one of the only friends I had in the city, since I broke things off with my girlfriend.
You never know!
Over the last 8 years Barsha has seen me through several broken hearts, lots of successes, and endless good times. She has been one of my best friends and someone I can say truly cares about me. After all, It was her that invited me to Nepal to heal my broken soul and find some meaning in all of this. I’ve learned so much from her about life, what love looks like, and what it means to be a kind human with a good heart. She has been a huge inspiration for me and I simply cannot repay her kindness enough. Looking back 8 years ago to that day at Pride Fest, I would have never imagined sharing my beers would lead to such a fulfilling and wonderful friendship! I wanted to include this story of how we met because she is featured in a lot of my blogs from my time in Nepal. So I figured our little back story would be a good and relevant example here. Please go check her music out!
You can find her music here https://www.youtube.com/@barshakarmacharya
I’m truly glad that I was able to step outside of my anxiety and believe that other people have good intentions and genuinely enjoy my company. That being said you never know who you are going to meet, where, or what impact that person will have on your life; So it’s good to keep an open heart and have a mind that wants to help!
Everybody needs help
At some point in time everybody needs a little help…or a lot of help. It’s these times that we really find meaning in our lives and connection with others. There’s nothing like overcoming a good struggle. Even better when you’ve got people in your corner to cheer you on. And I’m not just talking about friends, either. It can be a total stranger offering support. Oftentimes it is.
Being someone who wants to help others has brought a ton of amazing people into my life. It has also brought some pretty shitty people, not gonna lie. The important thing is they all have positively added to my life. The experiences, lessons and memories shared. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason and nothing is a waste. Some of them stick around forever while others were only meant to occupy a chapter or two. All of the people are important characters that shape our stories. Many cultures around the world believe every encounter is significant, no matter how insignificant it may seem. The Japanese believe even a simple “hello” on the street with a stranger, fate creates a bond in that very moment between the two souls. How strong that bond becomes over lifetimes is a different story.
“ALWAYS ORDER THE LOBSTER BISQUE”
Bonds are often strengthened when someone is there for you or you’re there for them. Building these things doesn’t have to take very long either. When it comes to creating them time is actually pretty irrelevant. Hell I’ve recently bonded with a stranger over a couple bowls of lobster bisque at an airport when I was hungry and broke. Humbly sitting at the bar wishing I had more money for some food and another glass of wine.
When along came Timothy who took a seat beside me. He was enthusiastically chatting it up with several older ladies on his other side while I was enjoying a glass of wine. I was hungry and the Caesar salad I could afford did not do much for my appetite. I had about 45 minutes until I had to board my flight. I was moving somewhere unfamiliar yet again and feeling apprehensive. I had been idly looking at the menu trying to decide if the Lobster Bisque was worth breaking my bank for. I was likely going to settle for another glass of the cheap house red wine
I was super broke and the little money I had I needed to save for my move. I also have a good amount of anxiety when it comes to flying and terrible coping mechanisms to match. So I wanted another drink to calm the nerves. Before I was about to order more wine, Timothy grabs the bartender’s attention and asks for a menu. Curiosity got the best of me. I immediately chimed in and asked the bartender about the Lobster Bisque.
Timothy turned around in surprise, looked at me and said, “Lobster Bisque? In an airport pizza restaurant?!? That’s a very interesting inquiry. Of all the things to serve especially here. Now I’m intrigued!” I wasn’t expecting this at all. I gave a small laugh and told him I love lobster bisque but you’re right this isn’t really the place. There was a certain kind of magnetism about Timothy. His energy was bright and refreshing. It seemed as if this guy could make friends everywhere. I was thinking it over harder now. Soup or wine? Honestly I wanted both.
“I mean it seems like we have to try it!” He said with a smile. “I dunno, it’s kind of a lot of money for a bowl of soup that might not be good, you made a point about eating lobster bisque at a pizza shop in an airport.” I said, to which he responded “Not if someone else is buying it!” I wasn’t quite sure I had heard him right and asked him if he was sure. “Absolutely we have to try it, I’ll get us both cups of the lobster bisque, and some pizza.” He drained his wine and asked me if I’d like another glass. I drained mine and thanked him kindly. He ordered us 2 cups of Lobster Bisque, some Italian sausage pizza and 2 glasses of whatever he was drinking; which was considerably nicer than the cheap house red.
WE CHATTED LIKE OLD FRIENDS DO
While waiting for our food, we instantly got into some deep conversation. It was as if we were old friends reunited. It seemed Timothy was genuinely interested in who I was. I can’t quite recall his questions but I do recall he was fantastically curious. His engagement and enthusiasm in conversing with me was everything. I was pouring out my life, as the bartender poured our wine and he was all for it. We talked about my recent travels in Asia, heartbreak, near death experiences, love and divorce. We talked about the things people don’t do enough these days. Life. Then came the mysterious Lobster Bisque. The coveted soup that originally brought us into one hell of a conversation with each other was here.
The pumpkin orange soup came in small oval shaped bowls garnished with a little parsley. Warm bread and butter on the side. We both commented on its appearance as if we were judges on one of those fancy cooking shows. I clapped my hands together, thanked him for ordering, and we dug in. The “bisque” had a thick creamy consistency. I rolled the soup around my tongue. The texture was more like a butternut squash puree. The flavor was definitely seafood in nature, with small bits of unidentifiable meat. I thought it was crab, Timothy said his had fish; We both agreed it definitely wasn’t lobster bisque.
We both agreed it definitely wasn’t lobster bisque.
We laughed some more about our choices and how if it wasn’t for this mediocre seafood chowder we would have never had this experience and epic conversation. I remembered I wanted to write about this and snapped a quick picture before finishing off the soup. We shared the Italian sausage pizza which was actually quite good. The crust was more on the rustic end and the sausage was robust with Italian seasoning. Pretty good for airport food. Out of nowhere my first alarm went off and it was time to wrap things up and head to my gate. “Man I feel like I could sit here and talk with you for hours and we just met 30 minutes ago” I told him as I drained my glass of wine. He looks over and says with a smile “I’m gonna call you my friend because I feel like we are friends now!” I asked Timothy for his social media and if we could take a selfie. He agreed and we swapped info. “We traded Facebook’s so that means we are friends now and as long as the internet allows we will be connected!” I said, thanked him and asked if I could get a hug for sharing such an amazing experience with me. I climbed off my stool and he says “But first…you ARE really small!” with a laugh. He hugged me warmly and we said our goodbyes.
I walked to my gate feeling so lighthearted after that. Any anxiety or fears I had about my move to Detroit had washed away. What a wonderfully random encounter I kept thinking to myself. It felt like The Universe answered my prayers and sent me the kindness I needed at that moment. I also made a new friend! Sitting at my gate I couldn’t help but think, “wow It’s a beautiful time to be alive.” There is so much connection going on and thank God for the internet. No matter where in the world I’m living, I can stay in touch with the many people across the world I have met. I really hope our paths cross again one day.
Though we may not know each other; wherever you are reading this from, I truly hope you are feeling connected to the stories you’re reading here! Thanks for reading my blogs and reaching out with comments, requests and compliments. Stay hungry my friends, there are many more stories of adventures and wonderful encounters like this to come!